If Love is Effort, then Effort is Love
When faced with resistance, obstacles and opposition, we often look at other people and want them to change, but maybe-- just maybe this change is personally for us, and the struggling (with other people) is not. As people it is in our emotional nature to feel emotionally connected to whatever situation we're facing. And sometimes we often put our external situation in front of our need for personal development or improvement:
For example: " If my situation does not change with Jack/Jill for the better, then I will not improve."
'The Power of Choice, brings the Gift of Change'
This is a faulty perception: because although the situation may or may not change between you Jack /Jill, realize that your personal development is in your own hands, and no situation can change that. You can improve, you can change despite the odds in your situation (relationship), Jack may continue lying about being a cheater, and Jill may continue misusing the household funds to support her addictions, but you on the hand have the power to see the difference, between your expectations and reality . Because the power of choice, brings the gift of change.
Needs =Reality
Ultimately, we must keep in mind that things often work, when people do. Our needs are (our) reality and we have to see the truth for what it is. Yet it is often easy for us to get distracted by our expectations for a particular situation/relationship that we often forget to discern how we really feel. About the constant reality of experiencing disappointment repeatedly--because we're so busy placing our expectations about a situation or relationship above real personal needs. The truth is the only way to change a need is to actually have it met.
Work2Rise:-- Work is for progressive people, who are focused not only on their conditions improving, but on improving themselves.
Words4-ur.Wisdom:--If love is effort, and effort is love, then people will work to change (to improve) with you.
--ALJ